Already Dead

 

You sit there watching TV with your eyes glazed over
Nod your head while they’re feeding you lies
Look around at your neat little uptight world
Think to yourself that this is what life is about

 

You’re an intelligent guy
You always said you’d make something of your life before you die
But you’ve lost that twinkle in your eye
You’ve lost that twinkle in your eye

 

The universe is billions and billions
And billions and billions of years old
As if your lifetime matters anyway

 

You live your life as a butterfly
Born as a grub, you flitter aimlessly and then you die
And it’s a waste of the life that you’ll never see
Don’t even think of the things that you’ll never be

 

You say you’re gonna live your life one day
…but you’re already dead
A rotting vegetable waiting for the end
…yeah you’re already dead

You say you’re gonna live your life one day
…but you’re already dead
A rotting vegetable waiting for the end
…yeah you’re already dead

 

You say you’re gonna live your life one day
…but you’re already dead
A rotting vegetable waiting for the end
…yeah you’re already dead

You say you’re gonna live your life one day
…but you’re already dead
A rotting vegetable waiting for the end
…yeah you’re already dead

 

Hahahaha!!

Cartoons

Reviews

CHEESE EXCURSION:

“Towering, frightening genius . .. massive, colorful, and energetic . .. madcapped, groundbreaking guitarist . … unapologetically harrowing creativity . .. disjointed, but perfectly synchronized . .. top level craftsmen … no note wasted . . It’s inspiring . .. punk fuelled, hillbilly rock … manic roller-coaster feel, . .. sensory overload … whack rhythm .. . traditional bluegrass . .. rip it up . .. watching a magician . .. blew my mind. …… If you’re an Australian, and especially a Victorian, and you don’t know about Cheese Excursion yet, your credibility is in tatters .. . If you like your rock on the Mr Bungle side, these guys are essential listening.”

.

ALREADY DEAD (EP):

“It took me a few listens to get my head around it. Very Different. Definately enjoy this album. pick it up!”

.

HELL-EL-U-JAH:

“Quite simply, the most evil ska song ever written. It’s terrifying rhythmic complexities, vocals so devilish that they must have been channeled through the soul of Satan, shock inducing horns, make for a song that will turn wholesome young children into A.D.H.D. afflicted menaces. And best of all, it’s great to dance to.”

MONSTER & DEMON:

“genius. It’s not easy, being cheesey, and this is a bonafide, glam rock/hillbilly masterpiece.”

.

FOR GENERAL EXHIBITIONISM (Album):

“Up there with some of the better stuff coming from Australia”

“a disc that grew on me with each listen”

“even my folks would dig”

.

NUCLEAR FAMILY MELTDOWN:

“I thought Schoenberg was a relevant figure in contemporary music; until I heard this song, which makes the progressions made in the twentieth century pale in comparison. Don’t listen to this song. You are not worthy of it’s goodness, and listening may force you to realise this unpleasant fact.”

Monster and Demon

 

I used to fear it, oh but now I love it
That good old country paranoia running round in my brain
Hell-hole we get up in it, picturesque frame

 

But you don’t look at the picture, you just stare at the sun
In a cold, cold sweat you get up in the night
…and you fumble for the light!

 

Aaaaaaaaahh-bop-bop
Oooooooohh-bop-bop
Eeeeeeeeehh-bop-bop
Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiihh-bop-bop

 

Aaaaaaaaahh-bop-bop
Oooooooohh-bop-bop
Eeeeeeeeehh-bop-bop
Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiihh-bop-bop

 

Monster and Demon, you are my friend
She said as she brought her life to end

 

Her synapses snapped, and her heart stopped beating
And the life-juices flowing in her brain were fleeting
She’s not scared of this devil she’s meeting

 

Long ago she lost her one and only
And she died in the bathroom all cold and lonely
If she knew our story she would be right … If only!

 

Monster and demon, you are my friend
Monster and demon, you are my friend

 

MONSTER AND DEMON, YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!
MONSTER AND DEMON, YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!
MONSTER AND DEMON, YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!
MONSTER AND DEMON, YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!
MONSTER AND DEMON, YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!
MONSTER AND DEMON, YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!
MONSTER AND DEMON, YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!
MONSTER AND DEMON, YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!

The Cheese Excursion Medical Journal

Bendigo Magazine – Issue 34

NUCLEAR FAMILY MELTDOWN

 

“Cheese Excursion? What kind of name is that?” Is the incredulous question this eight-piece Bendigo band has fielded many times over, throughout their decade-and-a-half together.
Writer : Megan Spencer
Photographer : David Field

 

In a band where experimentation, taking risks, happy accidents and playfulness reigns supreme, actually? The name makes perfect sense.
Co-founding member, singer and bass player Larz Van Ioha (his preferred moniker), laughs broadly when I ask him about how it came to be – and whether the name might posses some kind of ‘deeper meaning’.
We met one hot, sunny Saturday afternoon in Bendigo with two other “Cheese”members : relative newcomer James Fowkes (since 2005 the band’s metal uke player extraordinaire, percussionist and sound engineer), and trombonist Brendan Bartlett, another co-founder. All aged 32, they’re as precociously talented as each other.
Larz answers, “it was that Monty Python kind of idea, where random words are mashed together, it sounds like it means something,” he winks. “ but it doesn’t.”
It is however, a perfect analogy for describing Cheese Excursion’s eclectic blend of music. Forming in 1998 at Bendigo Senior Secondary College out of a desire to play together a) in a big brassy soul band, and b) in the school’s Battle of the Bands competition, six friends from Year 11 maths class quickly got their music on. “We had no songs, but a huge banner,”remembers Brendan, laughing.
From that institution perched high atop Rosiland Park – and that moment onwards – Cheese Excursion’s music hurtled down the hill like the proverbial rolling stone. Only this boulder gathered as much moss (read ‘as many musical styles’) as possible.
Landing at the bottom, the band eventually swelled to eight (including current members Ryan McRobb (guitar), Alex Dullard (trumpet), and drummer Paul Hunt). Cheese Excursion soon found a loyal audience in Bendigo as they cut their big band teeth in local venues like the Newmaket Hotel and “the Old Crown”, in a previous incarnation as a vibrant live music hub.
“It’s where we played some of our best – and wildest – gigs,” recalls Brendan.
Over the years their sound parlayed into a hybrid of soul, jazz, ska, punk and metal, with a pinch of psychedelia thrown in. Frank Zappa would be proud to call them his own.
“If James Brown and Rancid had have had a baby together in high school,” grins James.
Cheese Excursion’s fans adore them to the point where gigs still are interrupted with people arguing over what the band’s set list should include. Tracks like Jimmy Don’t Fix the Toaster and Sinster Minister instantly get people up and dancing, as anyone who’s experienced a Cheese Excursion gig can attest. Performing like a dazzling, over-excited mutant orchestra, their energy output has to be seen to be believed.
From Melbourne venues the Tote, Arthouse, Corner and Espy hotels – to numerous regional Victorian festivals in Guildford, Castlemaine, Heathcote, and Bendigo – by anyone’s standards, Cheese Excursion can’t be written off as a gimmick band. They’re a musical force to be reckoned with, turned up to 11.
And high achievers; given the amount of qualifications held within the group, Cheese Excursion could take line honours as one of the most edified bands in the grungy world of rock.
Regular ‘zine publisher Van Ioha is a classical guitarist and an amateur theologist, who routinely studies a “religious salad” of esoteric spiritual philosophies.
Violinist and teacher Cally Bartlett is the Musical Director of Bendigo Brass Band, also married to Cheese’s Brendan, a landscape architect. Trumpet player Dr. Nick Schultz has a PhD in Ecology, while overseas compadres Joel Kent (Cheese’s first drummer) works for Reuters in London, with sax player Adam Sloan a gun “software developer” based “somewhere in Europe”.
“We think he’s off building a Death Star somewhere,” whispers James, only half joking. “We stay in touch with ‘remote’ members and send demos, and audio postcards – they’re still considered very much a part of the band,” adds Brendan.
Seems the commercial imperative that often overlays forming a band, doesn’t apply here. Something bigger is afoot. While Cheese Excursion has been together for a long time – having recorded only two albums ( a third is on the way) – there’s no sense that they feel ‘done over’ by a lack of orthodox success. They clearly relish coming together to play in their hometown of Bendigo. With improvisation encouraged, much of their creative evolution comes about on stage.
“It’s a lifetime membership thing,” says James about the band’s longevity and connectedness. “Nobody officially joins, and nobody leaves; it just kind of swells and contracts, like osmosis.”
“You can check out but you can never leave” … Understood. Cheese Excursion is a kind of Hotel California for a group of talented Bendigo musicians, addicted to music, creativity and camaraderie. That’s a band I’d join.

 

More about Cheese Excursion on Facebook:
Facebook.com/ CHeeseEXcursion

Sinister Minister

 

Well, you’re supposed to represent the majority
Who don’t have slaves to do their Sh-shopping
You don’t remember what the real world is like anymore
You just sit in your castle stuffing your face with our money

 

We don’t want to pay for your life of luxury

 

So minimum wage for the ministers
Their time isn’t worth more than mine or yours
There’s a lot of people who would run the country for free
And if they had to travel, they would go economy

 

Sinister minister, superannuation
Sinister minister, sex line in Malaysia

 

You’re representing us, we’re not following you
You should slave for the public in everything you do
They say that it’s because of all the stress involved
Let summer onus lexus, gonna freeze in hell

 

All the perks that you would ever need

 

So minimum wage for the ministers
Their time isn’t worth more than mine or yours
There’s a lot of people who would run the country for free
And if they had to travel, they would go economy

 

Sinister minister, superannuation
Sinister minister, sex line in Malaysia

 

Minister!

Toaster

Jimmy, Don’t Fix The Toaster

 

Jimmy don’t fix the toaster,
Jimmy don’t do it yourself,
Jimmy you’ll have an accident,
Jimmy you’re gonna fry,
…Two, three, four

 

Jimmy got up from his bed on one Sunday afternoon,
He was terribly starved and so he went to get some food,
Toast was all he wanted, toast and nothing else,
So he spied his lovely toaster and he took it off the shelf.

 

Toast was the only food that Jimmy didn’t hate,
For some reason it was the only thing he ever ate,
But his goddamn lovely toaster thought it would go on the blink,
And being Sunday no one’s open so he couldn’t get it fixed.

 

Jimmy don’t fix the toaster,
Jimmy don’t do it yourself,
Jimmy you’ll have an accident,
Jimmy you’re gonna fry,
…Two, three, four

 

Jimmy was pissed about the toaster, he thought that he would cry,
But then he thought: “if other people fix things, dammit why can’t i?”,
He picked up the toaster and he took it to the shed,
He slammed it on the workbench, then he scratched his head.

 

He tried the toaster one more time but still it didn’t pop,
So he got out his screwdriver and stuck it in the top,
Jimmy’s plan had one minor but fatal flaw,
He’d left the toaster plugged into the wall.

 

Jimmy don’t fix the toaster,
Jimmy don’t do it yourself,
Jimmy you’ll have an accident,
Jimmy you’re gonna fry,
…Two, three, four

 

In went the screwdriver, the toaster went kaboom,
Jimmy got shot into the air and went halfway across the room,
His funeral is on Thursday it will be a grand affair,
His sister’s really fine so that’s why I’ll be there.

 

As the metal touched the metal there was a brilliant flash of light,
As jimmy’s scrawny body went into a flight,
It’s a closed casket funeral his parents do think,
That’s because of all the burn marks and because of all the stink.

 

Jimmy don’t fix the toaster,
Jimmy don’t do it yourself,
Jimmy you’ll have an accident,
Jimmy you’re gonna fry,
…Two, three, four

 

Jimmy don’t fix the toaster,
Jimmy don’t do it yourself,
Jimmy you’ll have an accident,
Jimmy you’re gonna fry,
…Oi!